Bisly's autistic trait list (for Kieran)

My responses (autism points):

• filter for me: im pretty good but sometimes when i get really angry it starts to come undone (such as when my server DNS was not working)

• adverse to change: not often but for example when I had to reinstall my OS that i spent hours customizing, i got really depressed and burnt out because i was unable to find something that would fit, because I was too lazy to do it myself.

• routine: explained in the list for me.

• object attachment: the keyring I spin around a lot as well as a few other stim toys

• topic fixation: according to Kieran, yes i have an issue with that. (i fixate a lot)

• public shutdowns: yes occasionally. example: i went shopping today (12/26/22) and could not find my mom, and was starting to get quite anxious and was pacing around the store despite being able to text her.

• eye contact and conversation attention: I feel quite uncomfortable a lot when trying to keep eye contact, and sometimes I have trouble focusing on conversations for a little bit due to getting caught up in my own thoughts

• clumsiness: sometimes, i keep throwing the damn keychain across the room, and sometimes when pacing really fast i can bang into stuff

• organization: I have trouble doing this but sometimes I can.

• inappropriate response (idk no example yet), emotional management: i have a short fuse and sometimes small things can make me very angry, stong single emotional focus: sometimes i can be depressed for quite a while i guess.

• repeating questions or statements: when i tell someone something and they dont respond i have a habit of either re-asking or asking them if they heard me.

• clothing textures: no but shirt tags used to annoy me as a kid, sensitive to food taste: maybe as a little kid idk: some sounds are annoying or unbearable: example I was terrified of the weather radio and alert tones as a kid but ive gotten used to most sounds, still startles me sometimes but not as bad as it used to be where i would cover my ears and yell to my parents to turn it off.

• remembering issues: quite often but when people give me hints it comes back to me

• sometimes trouble understanding people emotions: not really.

• decision making: Yes I have a lot of troubles with that especially when I'm not given time to think it through (when shopping for example) but when I have plenty of time to think it through I can do it.

• swingy anxiety and depression: not really but i have slower cycles sometimes where if something makes me break down i can be sent into a spiral that can last a few days.

• focusing on lots of small details: not really but if something small annoys me and someone says its fine, i still feel the need to change it.

• low pain tolerance and very high sensitivity to pain: no real examples so I dont know, but I think im normal.

• likes working solo unless with very close friends - avoids working with strangers: yes, probably why i have trouble with school, I like to work solo with my own expectations, when working in a group with strangers I get worried about their expectations

• stuttering, sometimes random spech patterns (large pauses, getting stuck on a sound): yes, sometimes I try to say something and then either forget what i want to say or can not find the right words, and stutter quite a bit sometimes

• temperature sensitivity: i dont know. sleep patterns: dont have one, basically go to bed whenever around a certain time but not exact. insomnia: yea, my brain wont shut the hell up when i try to sleep so it takes me quite a while to fall asleep, and sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night.

• talking at people instead of with: maybe, if it means going on and on about something without letting the other person talk much.

• adverse to relationships: I would probably be happy to have one but dont really feel the need, I am fine alone too.

• very difficult to join a conversation: I have trouble judging a good time to join a conversation, so in large groups I usually just go mute and listen in, but when I am in smaller groups (one on one or with 2 people) with people I know its a lot easier

ADHD points

• fidgeting, hyperactive: i fidget quite a bit but I am not sure if its stimming or this, not really hyperactive I guess.

• short attention span: yes with things I am not interested or do not know about (especially in school)

• unable to stick to tedious tasks: from time to time yes, especially in school

• lots of talking about things of interest: yes according to kieran but I am not sure if this is hyperfixation or not (a lot of these overlap lol)

• being unable to sit still: from time to time yes but once again not sure if its stimming or this.

• trying to keep a routine but being unable to do so: yes if i accidentally forget to keep up.

• stuttering, sometimes random speech patterns: refer to autistic traits, not sure if this is ADHD

• hard to hold attention on topics: refer to short attention span

• sometimes avoids being spoken to directly: not sure but maybe sometimes if its a difficult conversation

• forgetful, distracted easily: refer to autistic traits for forgetful, i can get distracted easily, so I like to work in a quiet enviroment (more like I have learned to do so if I want to get things done)

• behavioral (sometimes aggressive, irritave, excited a lot): refer to autistic traits for aggression (emotional management) but yes sometimes.